I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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