yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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