Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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