are you still at the devil's house?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
