so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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