So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
