just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
