Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
