I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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