True but thats because hes a fetus.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
