I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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