left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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