I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
