how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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