Where is the hickey?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
