is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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