i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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