The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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