Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
