I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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