It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
