i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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