babies were throwing up all over the place
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
