He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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