hotel room ftw
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
