Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
