How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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