but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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