"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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