youre lurking in front of me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
