Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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