just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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