she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
