I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
