I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
