so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
