We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
