I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
