My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We need to get me chipped asap
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
