I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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