we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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