In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Quick, to the slutcave!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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