He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
