I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
