ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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