mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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