Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
