we're chasing vodka with high fives
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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