It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
