We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
