So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
