And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
